It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
