then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Drake has all the answers
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
