You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
