i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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