She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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