you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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