She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
