around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
