Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
