i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
