Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
