Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
