I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
