Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
