He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize