just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
