Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
