Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm passing your future prison.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
