It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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