i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
