fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You left your phone here
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