You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
