you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
