I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Is it because I queefed?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
