there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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