Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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