how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
