I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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