They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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