its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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