I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
