I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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