After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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