Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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