Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.