I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...