I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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