No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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