I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
