it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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