Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
