Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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