Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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