Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
