No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize