Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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