Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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