i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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