Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
