you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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