i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
