you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
