dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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