you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
