Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
