The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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