kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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