She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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