my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize