come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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