I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
