Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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