Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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